28

So I was pretty preoccupied my last few weeks of spring quarter and never got to reflect on what I learned and gained from my first year of college. I guess I’ll share what I learned too, so here are 28 things I learned as a first year (there’s literally no reason why it’s 28, that’s just how many I thought of without rambling on to 100). Hopefully you’ll find at least one of these useful.

1. First 3 questions people will probably ask you: what year are you? What major are you? Where’s home for you? It’s quite repetitive and sometimes annoying.
2. If you say you’re from Anaheim, people are probably gonna respond with something related to Disneyland. Also a bit annoying.
3. If someone mindlessly asks you, “How are you?” and you’re having a really shitty day but you don’t wanna say it because you know that person’s just asking out of instinct/courtesy, it’s OK to just say “I’m good!” It’s not covering up your feelings — it’s choosing who deserves to know how you’re really feeling.
4. You really don’t have to tell anyone where you’re headed, like ever. Which is both good and bad. It’s liberating, but also worrisome if it’s 4 AM and nobody knows where you are.
5. Friendships are much harder to establish. There’s no more let’s-be-best-friends-because-we-have-the-same-exact-class-schedule. You gotta put time and energy only into friendships you care about, otherwise it’s not gonna happen.
6. Don’t feel bad if you hate the dining hall food you (or your parents) paid for. It’s convenient, but also ridiculously fucking expensive and probably not of great quality.
7. Please do not believe in the “pain is temporary, GPA is forever” mindset. Yeah it’s a joke of a saying, but I think people buy into it even if they tell themselves it’s a joke. Sometimes staying up late to cram is not worth losing out on a good night’s rest.
8. While on the topic of sleep, don’t be that person who competes and brags about how much sleep you didn’t get or how many looming deadlines you have. It’s really not something to brag about, and it normalizes the borderline-toxic competitive nature of college.
9. On the flip side, glorify going to sleep before midnight. And if you’re that person who actually sleeps at like 10 PM every night because you have 8 AM classes all week (despite FOMO of late night hang outs), I commend you.
10. You don’t have to pull any all-nighters to survive college. I have never pulled an all-nighter and hope it stays that way. Prioritize and manage your time.
11. Also, college is a stacked system. For some reason, people celebrate and further elevate those who score well instead of focusing on those who are struggling to get basic needs and resources as a full-time student. Do not feel bad if your grades are “lacking,” and if your grades are “exceptional,” that’s great — just try to be humble about it.
12. Positionality =/= greater value of a person. Fact.
13. Your life will probably parallel the fast-paced quarter system. Change happens just as quickly as midterms and finals do.
14. Don’t feel pressured to spend money if you really don’t feel comfortable doing so. Your financial means should not make you feel ashamed.
15. People have different studying habits. Some people literally schedule every minute of their day to keep themselves accountable, others do things in whatever order they feel like. Some people get distracted when studying in groups, others do it because they distract themselves if studying alone. Just do whatever works best. Sometimes it changes too. There’s no universal way to study.
16. Being alone is not bad. I have no idea why people in high school thought it was, but it really isn’t.
17. Nobody cares about your GPA. Friends and people who care about you will celebrate your academic successes (and other successes beyond that), but nobody usually asks because it’s not a big deal. I think there were several instances this year I momentarily forgot what my GPA was (uh until it tanked after my econ final haha xd).
18. If someone you care about is doing and saying things that make you uncomfortable OR you think they shouldn’t be doing/saying those things, call them out. Educate and challenge them. If they’re worth putting in that time and energy for, they will listen to what you have to say and be understanding.
19. If the same is happening with someone you don’t know or care much for, don’t feel obligated to do the same. Your energy and emotional labor matters.
20. Don’t feel guilty about privileges you have. Instead, listen to others who don’t have those privileges and validate them.
21. Don’t feel guilty about problematic things you said or did in the past. It’s good that you feel something about it, but you’re beating yourself up over something you’ve already recognized and fixed.
22. Don’t underestimate the size of your campus and its bountiful opportunities. It can be exciting but also overwhelming. Just pick and choose what feels right.
23. If what you choose doesn’t work out, there’s no need to stay in it. Even if it’s only been a few days or weeks, if you’re not feelin’ it, you’re not feelin’ it. Choose something else that’s worthy of your time and energy.
24. Sometimes things happen for reasons unknown to you or out of your control. It’s not your fault and there’s usually nobody to blame for it.
25. Take all the time you need. A few days, a week, an entire year. Take it at your own pace.
26. Take ownership of what you do and how you feel. Nobody can take that away from you. Validate yourself.
27. Literally NOBODY can tell you what to do. Even if your closest friends give you advice, you don’t have to take it if it doesn’t feel right. Mantras, quotes, advice from friends — none of it is absolute. Take it (or leave it) as you wish.
28. With that, nothing I’m saying may even apply to you — which is fine. I’m just sharing my experience and hope to give a glimpse of insight on whatever you’re also going through.